My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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