something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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