think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
