nut hugger
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
