then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
