Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
