So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
