THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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