we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
