guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
