Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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