Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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