I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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