I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
