What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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