Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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