Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
