Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
