Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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