we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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