Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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