If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
