You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
