It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
