so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
