singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
