ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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