so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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