We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
