that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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