I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
