Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
