dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
