i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
