Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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