How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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