haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
