I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
