I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
