Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
