We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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