you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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