you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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