break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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