Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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