this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
