That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
