i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The best revenge is premature balding
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Your penis caused this!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
