You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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