did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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