you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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