so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
