sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
