I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
