My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
