we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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